27 June 2008

Onwards

Life has been a bit mental the last few weeks. I'm trying to get everything ready for moving but am now surrounded by half packed boxes and stuff that is kind of sorted out. I'm trying to be so good and get rid of things but it is so hard. And it's also weird knowing that I have to work out what I really need for living and what I can do without because of moving in with my parents for a little while.

Running up and down the country so much is taking a strain on me too. I was up north for my great aunt's funeral, which was very sad but made me realise just how much I dislike religious babble and just how easy it is for someone to try and sum up someone's 91 year life into 30 seconds. I feel like I said goodbye to her a long time ago as she'd not really been herself for a couple of years. She was furiously independent and an amazing woman and I will miss her a lot. I still cannot get over the cutlery she gave me and Andy for our wedding (silver plated!) and I just find it odd that I will never be in that house again. It was also weird being there after my grandma moved anyway as they used to live next door to each other with no fence between the back gardens. As a child, I remember spending time there and running between the two houses. Auntie Marion's was smaller and filled with beautiful oak furniture and my mum is trying to find out what's happening to it in case I can buy it. I just hated Wednesday, filled with weird family memories and people trying to work out who I was and how to treat me now I'm not some child. Although I did find out a bit more about how my grandma and grandpa met, so that was good.

I'm up in Manchester again next week for a job interview. I'm pleased about it but nervous as hell to be having a chemistry interview again. At least I can get the train up instead of sitting for 5 hours on the coach.

I just feel a bit odd right now. Nothing feels right and I seem to be in some kind of limbo. The only stabilising thing I seem to have is knitting and even that seems to be confusing me right now. I think I'm going to run out of yarn for me jaywalker socks and I'm kind of planning my first decent knitting patterns after deciding to make alpaca lace scarfs as Christmas presents but now I feel at a bit of a loss as to whether I'm good enough to do it. I feel like a bit of a failure right now, without any real reason. Things just feel wrong. Maybe I just need to get my branching out scarf blocked and all will be well.

To cheer up this post, I will post a glorious photo of my finished yarn swap package. I love what I got my partner but I'm very bothered that I couldn't afford the postage so it went surface mail. Hopefully it will arrive in one piece.

1 comments:

Katie said...

The postage on these swaps can sometimes nearly cost more on the actual swap. One recently cost me nearly £10!
Good luck with the interview, and with the knitting. I'm trying to be one of those fearless knitters, the worst that will happen is that I have to frog it and put the yarn aside for something else.